Vet school or Game school...how the hell did I get here after all this time?

I'm really comtemplating the immediate direction of my studies and career. I love games. Period. Theres no question about that. There has NEVER been a question about that. No matter what type of game it is. Board games, card games, video games (one of my true passions), to the game of hockey...I love games. I have been in veterinary school for over two years now. I turned down the opportunity (to apply) to go to game design school and see where it would take me. Here I am, 120,000 dollars in debt and I am considering leaving. How depressing. I've been thinking about this for about 8 months now. I've fought the feeling...and fought the feeling. And fought the feeling. Was I wrong to come down here to this island of St. Kitts to go to vet school. Denying the possibility to be around what I love so much more than animals? Is that what has really happened here? If so, that was a pretty damn expensive idea.
I honestly can't understand why I can't just grab onto the idea of what I am doing here right now. I don't have a true passion for almost anything I am learning. Besides surgery. I love it. Grades have been a driving factor for so long...it's as if it's the only thing there to keep my feeling that this is all worth it. But in the end, it's only a letter representing how well I could fill in circles. It means nothing as far as the happiness I could achieve or even sustain in treating animals for their diseases. Treating animals for their diseases, by the way, is quite a noble cause. This is true. But how long can I lie to myself that this is truly my passion. I can honestly say, it is not.
Maybe it is time to spend less time playing the games, and consider how I could become one that makes them. Maybe I will find something deep within myself I never knew existed. This creative soul that was given me, maybe I have a chance to use it more than I thought. Or perhaps I could write about games. But then I would not truly feel wonderful about what I am doing. Creative output is absolutely delightful. Creating two albums with a band was a life changing experience continues to open up doors in my life that I didn't know could be opened. Perhaps my experience within the band could help to open new doors for the areas of game design within my life.
Well thats enough for the moment. I'm checking out the ETC. Later